Simon says stare at yourself

Stare at yourself in the mirror, in pictures, at all angles, look at yourself in the way that makes you most uncomfortable until it doesn’t anymore. If you have scars, learn to love them. 

As you get older, you get more wrinkles. So what! It's part of getting older. Learn to see yourself as you are and learn to love what you see. 

Thanks to the amazing work of surgeons over many years, and being lucky enough to grow up in a country with wonderful healthcare, I feel extremely lucky. I wear the small scar on my lip as a symbol of pride, the representation of the hard work of many and constant support of my family and friends.

It seems we are so fixated on beauty and staying forever young. But, inner beauty is really what makes someone beautiful. This needs to be the message.

 You smile with your eyes and if you have inner beauty, people will be drawn to you. So, please stare at yourself in the mirror. Your beauty should be staring right back at you and that should make you smile!

Simon Says: You can make a difference

Simon Says: You can make a difference: Cleft Palate Foundation 1504 East Franklin Street, Suite 102 Chapel Hill, NC 27514-2820 USA (800) 242-5338 (919) 933-9044 When I was...

You can make a difference

Cleft Palate Foundation

1504 East Franklin Street, Suite 102
Chapel Hill, NC 27514-2820 USA
(800) 242-5338
(919) 933-9044

When I was searching the internet for a Craniofacial specialist I came across the website for The Cleft Palate Foundation. It was on this website that I was able to find the University of Illinois Craniofacial Clinic. While looking at all the resources on the Cleftline website I saw that you could purchase a cleft line bear. The teddy bear had stitches on his lip. For $10.00 you could support the Foundation and also bring a smile to a child's face.

When I was at the University of Illinois Craniofacial clinic I saw how many children were being treated for cleft lip/palate. I had no idea how many kids are born with cleft lip/palate.

When I was born, I had surgery at about 6 months of age and then again as a teenager. I went on with my life and never really gave it much thought. I would go for dental care during my adult years and never had a problem. Until I developed an abscess. Then it changed everything. It changed my life and opened my eyes.

 After doing further research, I came to learn how many children are born throughout the world with cleft lip/palate. I realized things just don't stop once you have the initial surgical repair. Some countries, there are still thousands of children waiting to have the initial surgery. The children are looked upon as outcasts and abandoned.  My family has always contributed to the Smile Train over the years. But, I needed to do more. I felt compelled to give back. But how??

While at one of my appointments at the UIC clinic I sat and watched the steady stream of children and parents coming in for their appointments. Every seat was taken in the waiting room. It then hit me. Why don't I buy as many of these cleftline teddy bears and give them to the children at the Clinic. And, that's exactly what I did. I would buy 20 bears at a time because that is how many would fit in a box to be shipped to the clinic.

I would buy the bears throughout the year. I also got people at work to purchase a bear. I also would give bears out at work to people that had little kids. My thinking was every child would love a teddy bear and it teaches children at an early age that we are all different. Even teddy bears are not all exactly alike.

In the last two years I've been able to purchase a large number of teddy bears. It supports the Cleftline Foundation and it brings a smile to a child's face. Plus as an added bonus, it makes me feel good.

When I came to the clinic for one of my appointments, Alma, one of the terrific nurses there told me that she gave a bear to a girl that was going off to college. The girl had been a patient of the clinic for years and she was so happy to receive the teddy bear. Alma told me the young lady was going off to college and she was going to bring it with her for her Dorm room.  That brought a smile on my face!

And yesterday, when I went to the Clinic for another appointment, Alma greeted me and told me how much the patients like the bears. A smile appeared on her face and mine. She made my day.

So you see, sometimes when you least expect it, a simple gesture can make a difference. We get so caught up with our life that we forget the small things. Those small positive gestures can turn into something wonderful and powerful. And, it creates a snowball effect. You want to do more. You want to make a difference. You want to leave a legacy of doing the right thing and doing something positive for someone. And so, more good things are coming out of being treated as an adult cleft lip/palate patient.

The cleft line bear has stitches over its lip. It's really adorable. And, on its ear is a tag of the 1-800 number saying that Hope and Help are on the line. Just hugging the bear makes you want to smile.

For $10.00 you can purchase a bear. You are never too old to have a teddy bear!

Never give up hope

Today I went to get my one dental implant removed. When I walked into the Clinic, Alma, one of the R.N.'s said hello to me. She proceeded to tell me that the kids just love the teddy bears that I donate. She told me she handed one out earlier to an adult cleft lip/palate patient and was so thrilled to hug it. I told Alma, that she made my day.

I then went to dental Clinic for my appointment with Dr. Reisberg. He is not only a great Dentist but a great man. He is very caring and it's like watching an artist at work.

He put cherry numbing gel on my front gum. While he waited for the numbing agent to take effect, he showed me two dental markups. Two dental students and a newly hired Dentist came into the room. He asked me to smile. He did careful measurements of my scar and where my midline was. They discussed options amongst themselves and he looked at me so closely, as if he was going to do a painting. He'd line things up, then ask me to smile again and this went on for about ten minutes.

It was then time for the injection. Well, it was really unbearable. They had to use a larger needle because there was so much scar tissue. 54 years worth of scar tissue. As he did the injections I begged for him to stop. Pleaded with him to just give me a moment to compose myself. But, he told me that he had just a little more to do. Maria, the assistant, handed me Kleenex. She told me she wanted to hold my hand but she didn't know if I would swat her away. Ok, so the injection part was over. I no longer was laying stiff in the chair with my feet hyperextended.

He took the little silver cap off of the tooth. He tapped it and asked if I had any pain. I told him no pain, just a little pressure. He then tested the implant again. He asked me again if I had pain. I told him again no pain, just pressure. I opened my eyes and looked into Dr. Reisberg's eyes. He said to me that he never saw anything like this before. He told me that he thought the implant may be good. He thought for sure that he was going to remove it at this appointment. The past two appointments, he would tap on the implant and I almost jumped off the table. He thought that perhaps the screw was too tight and when he went to loosen it in prior visits that maybe there was tissue that had adhered around the implant and that's what caused the pain.

And so, there is still hope. I told him it must be due to the Holy Water! I bless myself with Holy Water and say a prayer each morning.

The implant was not taken out. Not at this appointment. Maybe, just maybe, the implant will turn out to be good. I have faith that all will turn out the way it's suppose to be. I'm ok with that. If it turns out that the implant is indeed not good, then I know Dr. Reisberg has a plan to attach two crowns to the other implant. I'm in good hands.

Just when you prepare yourself for the worst, sometimes you are given some hope. And, the frown turns into a smile.

Look beyond what you first see

Tomorrow I go to get my dental implant removed. I dread tomorrow. I am in mourning. I've waited two years for my bone to grow. I had bone taken from my hip to build my palate. I then waited another year and had the rods surgically implanted into the bone so it could withstand eventual implants.  I waited two years for the bone to get strong. I was missing my front teeth for two years. But, I adapted knowing that one day I would have two beautiful front teeth because of these dental implants. I never for a moment thought the bone would not be strong enough.

As I was walking Barrett today, I came across a lawn filled with colorful Easter eggs sprinkled all over the front lawn. It hit me. My dental implant process is like I've been holding this very fragile egg for two years. I nurtured it and was hoping it was growing. I did everything I was suppose to do. And yet, the egg cracked. Like my bone with the screw in it, it just cracked when an attempt was made to see if it was strong enough. It wasn't.

And so tomorrow I go to have the screw pulled out of my bone. All that time hoping and praying the bone would take. Yet, it didn't.

I looked around the front lawn with the colorful Easter eggs. Eggs, like people come in all colors. And, an egg can be made into crepes, deviled eggs, quiche, omelet, poached, fried, scrambled, over easy, basted, and hard boiled. So many varieties.

So, my egg has a crack in it. I realized that a egg doesn't get thrown out because it has a crack in it. It can be made into so many wonderful dishes and enjoyed.

So,this implant didn't work. But, I have high hopes that my wonderful Dentist will be able to work his magic. I'm confident he will. He will somehow utilize my one good implant to make it into a beautiful pair of front teeth.

Sometimes things don't go as planned. That's when you have to realize that maybe it wasn't meant to be. You realize a plain white egg may have a crack in it, but it's still good. You have to look at the bright side.


Maybe it's a coincidence that my appointment is just a few days before Easter. Easter, is celebrated as a time of rebirth and renewal. And so, I'm going to forge ahead. I might be losing my dental implant, however, I look at this as a time of rebirth/renewal for me. All will work out just how it is suppose to work out. I have faith.

We need to learn to look beyond the physical and appreciate each other for what's on the inside not the outside.

Everyone needs a sign

My sign came to me on my way to work. I was contemplating leaving a stable job in which I had been with the company for 12 years. It would be a major move. I liked the people I worked with and knew my job. However, it was becoming very clear to me that the right thing to do was to leave. 

As I was driving down the road and making my way to the gatehouse, a car was in front of me. Oh my goodness. I looked at the license plate. And there it was, right in front of me. I grabbed my cell phone and quickly took a picture. This was just too amazing. This was finally the key to the lock, the combination numbers to the safe, the answer to my prayers.

Let me go back. For a good year or two I kept seeing this number. 808. The more I noticed it, the more it appeared. The key to our file cabinet is 808, my eyes always seem to look at the clock at precisely 8:08. Our hotel room on vacation was 808. The extension 
to the front desk was 808. Everywhere I looked I saw 808. The area code in Hawaii is 808-one of my favorite places to vacation. The restaurant in Las Vegas was named 808. Those numbers spoke to me. If I had a camera for every time I saw the numbers 808 it would be full. But, I didn't need one photo album. I just needed that one picture. The picture that literally spelled it out for me.

You would think I would have gotten it earlier. I would have understood the meaning. But, no. It had to spelled out to me.

I firmly believe you have to be open to things. You have to let things in. Even though you might not understand it, you need to embrace it and go with it.

I believe in angels. I believe that you have souls watching out for you.

I've told my family and friends this story. Now when they see 808 they will call me, or text me saying they saw the number and were thinking of me.

I wear a bracelet with 808 on it. It's always on. It serves as a comfort for me.

The picture that literally spelled it out for me was a license plate that read "Dad 808".  It was right in front of me. I firmly believe that it was and is my Dad saying to me that he is with me. Always watching out for me. 

My Dad died when he was only 72 years of age. I was 32 years old. He died too soon. I needed more time with him. I was lucky enough to have 20 more years with my Mom before she died. I had so much more to learn from my Dad. He was a great man. He had a heart of gold. He helped shape me. He taught me to speak up. He helped me with my confidence and told me that "education can never be taken away from you". He was so proud of me. He was thrilled that I went into Nursing. 

I remember coming home from church one Sunday and telling my Dad that they said they were praying for him. I thought to myself that he was fine. But, he knew better. A few days later he died of congestive heart failure. I was in shock. How could a man with such a huge heart die of congestive heart failure. His heart that was once so strong just gave out.

And so, eighteen years ago after my Dad died, I finally started seeing his presence. Every time I see 808 I think of my Dad. I know he is watching over me. I'm sure I saw 808 way before 18 years after his passing. But, maybe I was not ready to put the connection together. My eyes were closed but now they are open. I'm trying to make my Dad proud of me. I'm trying to do the right thing. Each and every day. 

Sometimes when you least expect it, you are given a sign. It's your choice whether or not you want to embrace it. I'm so happy I chose to make the connection. It gives me peace.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

Why do bad things happen to good people?

I ask myself this question and have not found a good enough answer. Is it to make us stronger? If so, I would rather lift weights. 

Newborn babies are born with life threatening health conditions. Children get diagnosed with life threatening health issues. And, adults get diagnosed as well. 

It's not just health issues. It's people who suffer from emotional, financial, and other hardships. 

You hate to see anyone in pain or anyone having a rough go of it. You feel helpless. 

I know I try and be very positive and say to smile because it does the body good. But when you hear that someone you know just heard that their brain tumor is back. Well, I just have to be sincere and say the F word.

Sometimes, the only thing to do is say the F word. Over and over again. Loud and clear. It makes me feel better. I don't know why. I can't explain it. It just feels good to say the F word.
Kids, if you are reading this, please say "Fudge", instead.

Thank Goodness my Mom is not alive to hear me say the F word. She would give me a very disappointed look and say, "Oh honey, please don't say that word". But I'm almost 55 so I feel like I've earned the right to say it.

Please take a moment and tell your loved ones that you love them. Give them a good hug.  Raise them up. Cherish their laugh and the good times you've shared. Don't put it off. Tomorrow is not a given.

The reality is bad things do happen to good people. That's when they need you the most. Be strong for them. Sit, listen, and hold their hand.